Hmm... I feel like I should have a lot to say here.. after not posting for so long. But honestly, I don't really. Well, nothing I'm in much of a mood to talk about.

To be frank, life has really been letting me down lately. Or people in my life have been letting me down. The one friend I see on a regular basis... is constantly doing things with the intent of upsetting me. Basically, I had a good thing going, and she took it upon herself to purposely ruin it (Don't worry, it's nobody any of y'all know very well). And honestly, I really don't have it in me to fight her on it. I'm a bit of a coward in that sense..

Maybe that's one of my biggest faults. I'm too much of a coward to tell people when they're hurting me. I'm scared they'll leave, you know? So I let them have their way... step all over me... and take advantage of my patience and my devotion to friendship...

I know some of you are thinking "What devotion to friendship? You never contact me!" I wish I could! I work nearly every day as well as going to school 4 days a week. If I have to do something, I have to know about it 2 weeks in advance or it's a no go. And even then, it's not certain....

But back to what I was saying... aside from being burnt out from so much work, and so much school, and some of my friends betraying me (or at least not caring enough about me to show a little bit of class), my grandfather is dying. His long battle with cancer is finally coming to an end, and he's not the winner of this one. Basically, it's spread into his spine. There's nothing that can be done.

..The most good that has come from this all is that I've become really close with my mom. I've had nobody else to talk to, really...

Honestly, I just want my trip to Japan to come soon. I've already saved quite a bit. And if nobody steps up and saves with me, then I will go alone... But I want to go to the place that will remind me that I still have goals.. that I still need to keep pushing myself.